Babby soon...WHAT!?

Went to my doc on Friday, figured I'd hear the same thing about nothing much and see you next week...umm...no.

Went from nothing last week to 80% effaced and fingertip dilated this week. Doc thinks if things continue to progress at this pace, I won't be making it to my next appointment. Exciting...but abso-fucking-lutely terrifying. I don't have food ready, I don't have pads, I don't have film for the good camera, i don't have batteries for the digital, I am entering panic-mode...and even more afraid that I'm panicking for nothing and will pregnant for a few more weeks. but the BH are more consistent...about every 10 mins or so...which is another sign of impending labor...so maybe he's right. if he is...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!?!

I'm 39 weeks pregnant. And my family can't figure out why I don't want to drive 3.5 hours for Easter (7 hours total). Ummm...HELLO!?! That's about all...

No sign of babby...just insane cravings for thai food. I'm going to try to make my two faves at home the next time. I love curry, but there's a beef basil dish that I finally found a recipe for (I think).

Oh...and my sister is not pregnant. I really feel bad for her, and it has made it a little more awkward for me. I don't know what to do or say. And I'm back to the guilt for being able to get pregnant...my mom tells me I need to reach out to her...and I can't avoid her. I know this...but HOW? How does a person who is accidentally miserably pregnant at this point connect with a person who can't get to that point, no matter what she does?

Family Drama in a nutshell

Okay...been a while, but here's an update.

I was put on anti-depressants because my doc is worried about PPD. I've been on them before and feel like once things are "safe" after the baby is born, I can get off of them again. I feel like the last straw, though, was my sister. I realized why she was so anxious to find a location, and it had nothing to do with my baby shower.

She started IVF treatments. Started them within days of booking a baby shower location, in fact. It was HER schedule she was worried about. I would LOVE to be ecstatic for her. She will have found out this week if the first treatment took. Probably yesterday or today. I just keep hoping she keeps it under wraps until after my baby shower...which is Sunday.

I am happy for her...she wants a baby so badly. But part of me is just screaming "You couldn't have waited TWO MORE MONTHS!?!" like...really...is it so bad to me just have my day? I think that this is seriously what sent me over the edge into the funk.

On another note. My mom told me what my family got me for the baby shower...because it wasn't off my registry. Okay...well...one problem...I was a moron and didn't take the bath tub off the registry when i got the freebie from work...so now I will have two bath tubs. This alone is not a problem...except that the same day my mom emailed me, my friend bought the carseat I registered for...my mom bought a travel system. I assumed that since the registry said the car seat was purchased, my mom had bought it. WRONG. D got home today and there's the Graco snugride hanging out on my deck. *sigh* So now I will have to take it back and explain to my friend why I don't have it. She will most likely be disappointed, but understand. We plan on potentially using the store credit to get a convertible seat for when the baby is bigger. If the credit doesn't expire before then. If it does, then we can potentially use it for other things we need (like more diapers).

Oh...and my family is descending on me Saturday instead of Sunday...thank god I am taking tomorrow off work...hopefully I can finish cleaning the house. The bedroom is the biggest issue. I just cleaned the kitchen last week...so it's just dishes and wiping things down this week. I think that's my update. :) The meds are starting to work, so I don't hate my sister and her turkey baster as much...and I even am optimistic about my sisters' and mom's extended visit.

Now...update on me

SO...my sister decided to go with the location downtown that I suggested first for the baby shower. Go figure. Also, I'm getting tested for pre-e. 2 times, now, I have peed into a bowl and poured it into a collection thing for 12 hours. The first time they were "unable to get a good baseline reading." I do not know what this means, I only hope it will not be a repeat issue with this second attempt. I should know what the results of all the labwork are tomorrow or Monday at the latest and will update you guys then. Until then, I'm still suffering from dizzy spells, headaches, and spots. The swelling is getting a bit worse...the spots are definitely worse...and the dizzy spells are better. I don't know if this is because I'm used to them, or because my BP isn't spiking as high. I'm basically doing the same thing with this that I am with my job situation...taking it one day at a time.

Oh yeah...and in case that didn't make it into a previous post. I may not have a job after March...but I won't know until the end of March. Which sucks ass.

Menu Day Three

So...day two and day three are switched from the original menu. This is because I forgot about the whole "soaking the beans" thing. Luckily, Wednesday is our "whatever" day during the week...so it was fairly easy to switch Tuesday and Thursday without issue.

A couple of notes: I replaced the butter with olive oil and the marjoram with oregano. I prepared this the day before and just put it in the crock pot for the day to cook. It was amazing.

Day Three: Old-fashioned black bean soup

1 pound dried black beans, picked over, soaked overnight, and drained

1 ham bone or ham hock

6 cups chicken broth or water

3 T unsalted butter

2 Med-sized onions, chopped

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 c. chopped celery, including some leaves

1 tsp marjoram

1 bay leaf

salt to taste

freshly ground black pepper

1/2 c. dry sherry (optional)

1. Combine the drained beans, ham bone or hock, and broth in the slow cooker. Cover and cook on HIGH until boiling, about 1 hour

2. Meanwhile, in a large skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add the onions, garlic, and celery and cook, stirring a few times, until softened. Add to the cooker along with the marjoram and bay leaf. Cover and cook on LOW 7 to 8 hours.

3. Discard the bay leaf and bone, returning any bits of meat to the soup. Puree in batches in a food processor. Taste to adjust the seasonings. Add some water to thin, if desired. Ladle into bowls and serve hot.

Menu Day Two

Crazy easy and crazy good. I don't even like pepperoni and I went back for seconds and ate leftovers the next day. Between D and myself, we ate the entire pan in 2 days.

Day Two: Bisquick Pizza bake

3 1/3c. Bisquick mix (see below for homemade bisquick)

1 c. milk

2 cans (8 oz each) pizza sauce

1 package (8 oz) sliced pepperoni

2 c. (8 oz) shredded mozzarella

1. Heat oven to 375F. Spray 13x9 glass baking dish with cooking spray. In a medium bowl, stir bisquick mix and milk until a soft dough forms.

2. Drop half the dough by spoonfuls evenly over the bottom of the dish. Drizzle 1 can pizza sauce over the dough. Scatter half the pepperoni over sauce. Top with 1 c. cheese. Repeat layers with remaining dough, sauce, pepperoni, and cheese.

3. Bake 20 to 25 minutes.

2008 General Mills. Best Bisquick Recipes.

Baking mix (aka...Bisquick)

9 cups flour

2/3 c. dry milk

3 T baking powder

2 tsp. salt

1 c. shortening

Mix flour and other dry ingredients. Cut in shortening. Store in an air-tight container for up to 6 months.

2004. Dining on a Dime.

Our venture into Menus

Okay...so D and I decided to venture into the land of menus...since we don't eat till like 10 if I have to make something when I get home...this way I can crock-pot most of our meals and it will be set ahead of time what we are eating. I've already failed! We're supposed to be having black bean soup tomorrow...but I can't do the prep stuff tonight because I forgot to soak the beans...may have to just rearrange things a bit...

Tonight: Clear Soup with Meatballs

This is not a crock-pot one, but I did prep everything the night before...it literally took about 20 minutes to come together...unfortunately, D won't be home till 9 or so. I used a package (8 oz) of fresh baby bellas in place of the mushrooms. I also used olive oil instead of peanut oil. I used a pound of beef (we're meat eaters), so I left the onion the same, upped the garlic, and added a little extra corn starch and a whole egg. Generally, the ground beef isn't "finely" ground around here, so I put it all in the food processor to mix together. This has the added effect of pretty evenly distributing everything as well as grinding the meat up a bit more. I think the instructions call for doing this anyway, but at least you don't have to worry about how fine your meat is. Also, I added more stock, as we added more meat and more mushrooms.

Clear Soup with Meatballs

4 to 6 dried Chinese mushrooms, soaked in warm water for 30 minutes

2 Tb Peanut oil

1 large onion, minced

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/2-inch piece fresh ginger root, bruised

2 1/4 quarts beef stock

1 Tb soy sauce

1 1/2 oz shredded kale, spinach, or Napa cabbage.

for the meatballs

6 oz finely ground beef

1 small onion, minced

1 to 2 garlic cloves, crushed

1 Tb cornstarch

a little egg white, lightly beaten

salt and fresh ground black pepper

1. Prepare the meatballs: Mix the beef with the onion, garlic, cornstarch, and seasoning in a food processor. Bind the mixture with sufficient egg white to make it firm. With wet hands, roll into tiny, bite-size balls; set aside.

2. Drain the mushrooms, reserving the soaking liquid. Trim off and discard the stems. Slice the caps finely and set aside.

3. Heat a wok or a large sauce pain. Heat the oil. Add the onion, garlic, and ginger and fry to bring out the flavors, but do not let them brown.

4. When the onion is soft, pour in the stock and bring to a boil. Stir in the soy sauce and mushroom slices and simmer for 10 minutes. Add the meatballs and cook for 10 minutes.

5. Just before serving, remove the ginger. Stir in the shredded kale, spinach, or cabbage. Heat through for 1 minute. Serve at once.

The Soup Bible. 2002 Barnes and Noble Books