It's been a while

Well...it's been a while. Brief update:

1. I am still incommunicado with my Mom's family. I refuse. This has caused some tension and interesting attempts at guilt and control...but I'm the mama and I will not have my child around that crazy woman.

2. We are moving...soon! Our offer was accepted on a house...so now we just wait for all the closing stuff to be done. Whoever decided that closing a house takes this long is a jackass. I am slowly starting to pack, though...hopefully we will be mostly packed by time moving day actually arrives (whenever that is) and we can sell our trailer fairly quickly. I'm exciting to be in a real house that has enough space for the 4 of us (yes, BigB counts).

3. I am going to therapy (kind of). A few hiccups recently in scheduling mean that I missed a couple sessions, but I'm going.

4. I am branching out and meeting people. EEP! I met with a small group of mamas. Some of them even live close to where we are moving to. I have also joined a couple of mom's groups online that will hopefully lead to some good solid friendships. I love my online mamas and all other friends...but let's face it. As advanced as LilG is in the vocabulary department, she and I are kind of tired of each other. This is evidenced by today when we went to the indoor playground to meet with the mom's group and she crawled off to play with the other kids and was gone for at least 30 minutes before crying for me...and then it was only because she felt violated by the 'help' the older kids were offering.

5. I am finally making that damn quilt. I'm doing it by hand. I've decided that 99.9% of it will be done by hand. I am going to have to sew 2 pieces of fabric together to make the backing and I am pretty sure that this would be better done on a machine. The rest, though, I really would like to complete by hand.

6. I have lost 9 pounds from pre-preg weight and I want to continue losing to my goal. Hopefully I can do it.

7. I am also going to attempt a 30-day photography challenge. I want to become a better photographer, so I hope to get this done. After that I will try another challenge that helps me develop my skills further.

8. I will blog more often. I may even attempt a blog challenge, though I don't want to overwhelm myself, since I'm already packing and photographing and quilting and playing.

Babylegs giveaways!

I'm a whore for free, but I also like to share the wealth. This lovely lady is giving away some babylegs!

Peppermint Bark Cheesecake

Sooo...this recipe is actually mine! I built on a 4-ingredient cheesecake recipe.


Brownie Crust:

I just took one of those bags of Betty Crocker Brownie Mix, made it per the directions, chose my spring form pan and lined it with parchment paper. Poured the batter in and baked at 350 till done (takes a little less time than the directions because it's thinner).

Cheesecake:

3 pkgs (8oz) cream cheese
5 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sugar
Peppermint to taste
1/2 c. melted white chocolate

Cream cheese and sugar together. Add eggs. Add vanilla and peppermint extract (I used cheap stuff this time and had to put in half a bottle 8o ). Let white chocolate cool slightly and add in.

Put brownie crust in the bottom of the pan. Pour cheesecake mix into pan. Bake until set (about 1 to 1.5 hours).

Melt 1/2 c. dark chocolate with some milk until smooth.

Place some round peppermint candies on parchment paper until thin (took about 15 minutes at 250 degrees).

After cheesecake cools, pour ganache on top and spread it out. Top with melted candies.

WTF

Reading a WHO hand-out on Vaccine Safety (with an entire chapter on how to downplay possible risks to the press...but that isn't what this is about).

Under chapter 8--Ethical Issues related to Vaccination:

8.3 Pregnancy

Immunization of adolescents as part of routine immunization or during mass campaigns raises the possibility of administering vaccines during pregnancy. Only tetanus toxoid is recommended in pregnancy. Administration should be avoided especially of those vaccines that are contraindicated in pregnancy because of known or theoretical risks to the early stages of fetal development. It is possible that girls attending for vaccination may be unaware they are in the early stage of pregnancy, and others may be reluctant to admit to the pregnancy (which may result in their exclusion from school) and therefore go ahead with vaccination, perhaps despite being warned of the danger.

That's my emphasis...but WHAT. THE. FUCK.

The Great Vaccine Debate

Okay...sooo...I'm seriously reconsidering continuing the vax schedule.

Papa D has been anti-vaccine since Lil'G was about 4 months old. I went ahead and got her 4 month and 6 month shots. However, a recent blow-up fight in which PapaD called me retarded and incompetent. While that blow was distinctly uncalled for, it did the job. I am now REALLY digging into vaccines. I'm looking and WHO and CDC numbers and graphs. I'm going beyond Mercola and his push for you to buy his super vitamins and looking into real doctors who are saying this isn't what we think it is.

http://www.whale.to/vaccine/ImmunizationGraphs-RO2009.pdf

The graphs presented here are scary. Mortality rates due to the flu have skyrocketed since they've started pushing the flu vaccine on infants and young children. And there's a direct proportional increase in mortality rate to the number of vaccines a kid is "required" to have. Scary. That's all WHO and CDC numbers, too. They've just been put into a format that's easy for the average Joe to read.

I haven't really researched this site, yet...but again...some disturbing information contained in this article. I would like to research the doctors listed and see what their backgrounds, etc are before using it as a good source for anti-vax. But it's still interesting.

http://www.alternative-doctor.com/vaccination/16reasons.htm#5. Vaccination

The graphs in the first site alone are enough to make me pause and rethink the vaccine thing. What are vaccines doing for us, if the most dramatic decrease in mortality came before their introduction? And why is there a sudden INCREASE in deaths after the introduction of the flu vaccine (which I already don't get because I don't buy into it...fear mongering caused me to get it last year while I was pregnant...it was the first -and last- time I'll get that one). I'll keep you updated as I research further. This is my own personal research and discovery method. I promised PapaD I'd really look into it, and so I am.

Adventures in Baby Food

So...I made a TON of baby foods. I was so excited. We have so many options. I can't wait...oh...wait...my baby hates baby food.

wait...no...she hates solids...

wait...no...she hates food that I try to feed her that doesn't come from my dish...and she's not easy to trick.

We started with rice cereal, to a mediocre review. Oatmeal met with rave reviews from the consumer and was greatly enjoyed and even asked for.

Then we tried squash. It was okay. And then sweet potatoes. That was a no-go. So was banana. And apple. And squash. And oatmeal. Yup...we've regressed. SOOOO...cue music. We're going to try sticks. I'll cook some root veggies and cut them into sticks.

Sweet potato FTW!

Or not...what?

Carrot fail...once....twice...maybe not?

Banana fail...again and again.

Rice cereal fail...unless you count the fact that it makes a FANTASTIC finger paint.

However...white turkey chili was met with massive approval. Ham and bean soup was not as impressive. Ciabatta bread was fantastic. Oh...and carrots were eaten while I was eating stir fry that had similar-looking pepper strips.

So...not sure where this leaves us. I want to just give her table foods. Papa D wants to try the fruit and veggie route. He is sleeping while we're "eating" so he has no clue how frustrating it is to watch your food go to waste. I guess he also won't know when I just go ahead and feed her table food, will he?

To My Religious Friends

I posted this on Facebook, but I thought I'd leave it here, too. I stole it from a member of the Atheist and Agnostic Families board. She gave permission to repost in other locations. So, Thanks to Riuaki for this eloquent post on what it means to be atheist.

Do not pity me, do not feel sorry for me. I have chosen my path by my own free will. I am not lost, so there is no need for me to be found. My life is not empty. I know who I am and I know my purpose. I love, I am loved, and I strive every day to make sure I leave this world in better condition than I found it. My world is not dark and it is not cold. I see beauty and divinity in the world around me, and it is in no way less meaningful than your world ruled by a deity. My divine is love and nature, physics and chemistry and respect. I can respect you without agreeing and love you without believing that my love was directed by a higher power. Disagreement is not mocking, but instead is a quest for mutual understanding. I have no reason to mock you and it is hurtful when you proclaim how sorry you are for me.

Have you ever tried to see the universe from a different perspective, maybe one you were not taught through tradition? I can see your point of view because I explored it in my initial wandering. I do not wander anymore. I now understand my place in the universe, and it is right here where I am. I may be small, but I am not insignificant. I can touch the lives of others, and my small caress can ripple through humanity in a subtle wave. I do not need to make the world mine, I just need to make my own world matter. I need to make it matter for my son, my husband, my friends, and my family.

I am not lacking for anything intangible, so do not pity my lack of belief. I have hope, but it is centered around humanity instead of the vague promise of reward based on faith. I see hope and wonder in the eyes of my child and I know he is something special and unique, as is every child in the world. I have not squandered the concept of a soul, for all my soul is is my individuality. I am not like any other even though we are all fundamentally the same, and that spark of uniqueness is my soul. I have morals, and I try to live my life as well as possible because I am living for this life and this life alone. I am living my way so my progeny can thrive in a safe and clean world. I am not selfish. I have sacrificed an incredible amount for other people, so do not trivialize my achievements just because they were not accomplished under the banner of a belief. I try to always be honest, even if the truth isn't always what people want to hear. The truth is deserved by all and it is told out of love and not fear.

Do not pity me, my friend, for I do not live in fear. I lost my fear when I found myself. I found intense love for humanity, respect for the universe and everything in it, virtue in rationality, and innate values which embrace the best of all religions. I respect you as an individual, so please respect me. If you feel you must pray for me, go ahead, but I do not need it and it honestly makes me a bit uncomfortable if you tell me outright that you are. A kind word and a kind thought will suffice, and I will reciprocate the same to you. Work toward your own peace as I work toward mine. Embrace me because I am different from you, since it would be a boring world if we were all the same.

(This was inspired by a lot of chaos, and a general lack of understanding in the people I've come into contact with lately. Edited to fix a dropped sentence.)

∑ f(CxA)=Rowan(12/19/09)