Update

I keep getting told I should apologize to my aunt. That because I told her she needed to be considerate of me, I was out of line. I have yet to apologize. I'm basically trying to figure out a way to smooth things over without actually apologizing. Because I know I won't get one from her. My mom also said I owed my sisters an apology. So I apologized...and got "I know". But before I apologized, I told my mom that I wanted an apology as well. She didn't seem to understand why. That was the point where I decided I wasn't going to apologize just because it would make things better.

I feel outrageously guilty. My mom managed to lay it on thick. I've been fighting the feeling that I should call my aunt and apologize for days. But I know the only reason I want to do that is to make her life easier, to make it better. Not because I feel like I owe anybody an apology. And that knowledge is the only thing keeping me strong. I also told my mom that I want respect as an adult. I don't want them telling me when they're going to show up, calling me 10 mins before they arrive, etc. Treat me like you would any other adult with an infant.

I have recognized that I have PPD. The Prozac is keeping it under control, but it's not gone. I'm trying very hard to deal with it on my own, but am also looking for a support group for PPD. I plan on asking the social worker at my BF'ing group if she can point me in the right direction. I also need to make an appt with my FP to talk about the dosage of the medication. My mom still doesn't understand why I'm having such a hard time dealing with things. I don't know how to explain it better, so I'm just leaving it alone and trying not to take her "advice" too personally.

I think I at least need a new mom's group or something. My BF'ing group is nice, and i love my online ladies, but I need adult lady contact, i think...without the guilt my family gives me.