My mom was concerned and came over to see me when I got out. Good...thanks...I love you. They didn't leave until 4:00 am. That is right...I just had my guts pulled out and put back in and have a new baby that I haven't really even met and my mom is camped out in my hospital room for hours. This turned into days. My poor father was stuck with her. For 3 days, my mom sat and stared at me while I struggled with breast feeding and had my pad and incision checked. For 3 days, I didn't sleep when baby slept, I slept a little at night. I was then INFORMED that more family would be visiting me once I got home. Nobody asked if I was okay with this. I was just told it would be happening.
I get home and mom and dad leave right away. *sigh of RELIEF*...I believe that my younger sister is coming to visit the next day. Fine...I can handle her. Well...it became my mom, my younger sister, and my older sister. And they didn't give me any warning. I got a call 10 minutes before they arrived saying they were going to be here. They had a 3.5 hour drive in which to call and say "Hey...we're on our way." I could have had the baby fed, awake, myself showered, etc.
They get here, Lil'G is asleep. So of course, my mom wakes her up. She starts crying. Nobody can console her, so they hand her to me. I ask for her pacifier (which nobody has tried inserting into her mouth). My little sister says "Let her cry. Babies are supposed to cry." WTF?!?! She's 4 days old and hasn't had any good sleep because everytime she slept, my mom was there to wake her up. I'm getting impatient at this point. Mom then says something about moving out of our current place. Dave says something about putting up with a lot of shit lately. He then leaves the room to let me deal with the ensuing insanity.
I explain that we're tired and trying to learn how to take care of a baby and it's hard to do when people are over all the time. They think I'm overreacting. It escalates into a huge blow-out between me and my mom and my sisters and eventually everybody turns it into an issue between me and my older sister because I can have babies and she can't. Things finally calmed down, but Lil'G now needed fed. I very awkwardly tried to cover myself while feeding...and my mom uncovered me. And they all three stared at me while I BF'ed my baby. I feel somewhat traumatized by this. I'm terrified of going to my parents' house to visit once my mom stops being pissed and having this happen again. They finally leave all butt-hurt because they came to see the baby and apparently I shouldn't have any say because they're not here to see me.
I send an email shortly after they leave and D and I talk to my aunt asking them not to come tomorrow (now today) because I need time to rest and recuperate. My aunt basically tells me fine, but she can't come see me EVER because it was such a hassle to rearrange things to come this weekend, and she has a life. My response and her response follow:
"you know what. When I get super powers, I'll let you know. In the mean time I had my stomach cut open, my insides taken out, a baby pushed out of it, and then I was put back together. I didn't get much rest in the hospital and haven't had much rest since. When you can be considerate of that, let me know. I'm sorry it's such an inconvenience for you to come see me when I feel better." --Me
"yuo fucking learn to be considerate and not have a fucking attitude that you are so fucking great don't talkt o me any more you are dead"--her
Yeah. Because I just had major surgery and want time to rest before I have to entertain more people, she has declared me dead to her. All this drama is also carried out by phone where she screamed fuck you at me at least 20 times and then hung up. My mom then called me and informed me they wouldn't come see me at all. And I asked why? Because they did so much to come this weekend. Yeah...because it fit in their schedule to come this weekend...no matter that I wasn't feeling up to visitors.
My mom took their side. I was also told that they were here to see the baby and I should feel no obligation to entertain people. Umm...you're in my HOUSE...any good hostess would feel that obligation. I finally, after she repeated this, said "I am not a non-entity in this. If you are here, you are in my house. I will always feel that need." Said I got what I wanted "for people to leave me alone." I told her that was not what I wanted...that I just wanted some consideration when people make plans for my time...for them to consult me. That maybe I would have more time for people if they bothered to ask my schedule. She didn't seem to understand. I sent her a couple of articles to try to explain what I was feeling. She still isn't talking to me.
I have to admit, though, standing up for myself felt good. I cried the rest of the day...was still crying 12 hours after they left. I thought for sure my family had sent me over the edge into PPD. I feel much better today, though. I've been able to sleep when baby sleeps and I need to, feed without scrutiny, and...in all honesty...thank GOD I don't have to deal with my aunt anymore.
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